[Cosmo-dev] Cosmo landing page typos

Pieter Hartsook hartsook at osafoundation.org
Wed Feb 28 21:45:59 PST 2007


I can change the copy after we see responses to Ted's suggestions. See
my in-line comments:
>
> From: Ted Leung <twl at osafoundation.org>
> Date: February 28, 2007 4:56:20 PM PST
> To: Cosmo Mailing List <cosmo-dev at osafoundation.org>
> Subject: [Cosmo-dev] Cosmo landing page typos
>
>
> Hi folks,
>
> I'd like to start a precedent for doing as much work on Cosmo landing pages,
> etc on the cosmo-dev list.   To that end, I want to report a few typos on
> the main page:
>
> * The 0.6 release is Cosmo project's first experimentally usable web
> calendar application. => Cosmo 0.6 is the first release to include an
> experimentally useable web calendar application.
>

"usable" seems to be the preferred spelling rather than "useable",
other than that Ted's suggestion is better because it positions the
web app as a part of Cosmo rather than equivalent to Cosmo.

> * The Cosmo project encompasses both a sharing server as well as web
> application pieces of the Chandler small workgroup collaboration suite. =>
> Cosmo includes both a sharing server and web application pieces of the
> Chandler small workgroup collaboration suite.

encompass is a synonym of include, but I  support using 25-cent words
instead of dollar-words if possible in descriptive copy.

replacing "as well as" with "and" is simpler/better

>
> * Cosmo supports both one-way sharing and multi-way sharing with many people
> editing the same shared calendar collection. => Cosmo supports both one-way
> sharing and multi-way sharing of calendar collections.

I think what could be lost with Ted's suggestion here is the idea that
a single calendar can be edited by many people. The one-way/multi-way
terms are unusual in this context. How about:

 Cosmo supports both read-only and read-write sharing of calendar
collections with others.

>
> Ted
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>


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